critiques on my work

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Re: critiques on my work

Postby Terrantor!!! » Tue Jan 07, 2014 12:57 am

Lol, cool. Either way I'd like to learn some of ur techniques in the process. There are times where frame to frame is just the stylistic choice.
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Re: critiques on my work

Postby Off Topic » Thu Jan 09, 2014 1:24 am

AAaand Hi Again! :mrgreen:
I've been working hard to solve some " issues" ( like, BIG ones) about the sex scene I'm going through right now.
Hopefully from now on things will be easier ( and proceed faster).
It goes without saying that those BIG issues concerned mainly this thing that I'm posting :lol:
Now, I don't wanna bitch too much about the fact that I'm almost unpleased with this short non-loop animation I'm posting ( almost is the keyword here), indeed I'll shut my mouth because I'm more interested in your opinions!
Here it is ( oh, just so you know, the thing is slow but that's ok because it will be followed by a faster sex loop... it's ideally the last part of the " foreplay"... and yeah, right now there's no partner on the scene but he will be added later) :
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Re: critiques on my work

Postby Sythis_Sythes » Thu Jan 09, 2014 1:38 am

ONLY thing that looks weird to me is the arms. They're a little 2d and might need more depth to them to fix it, but they kinda bend in a weird way. Try to bring the elbows back toward her body instead of straight out if your going for a more natural look to it. The main reason i say that is because her knees get closer to the camera, but her arms just bend in a freaky alien way according to my perspective.

Every thing else looks fantastic, and well done. Love that your going for the comical look to it, rather than the gore/ rape we have as of late. Need more 'strange and funny' porn.

Also, it'd be a nice touch when she finishes the animation before the actually sex starts would be to have her kinda 'bounce' when she lowers all the way down while gape facing. Should make for a nice feeling to it.
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Re: critiques on my work

Postby Off Topic » Thu Jan 09, 2014 5:56 pm

Hehe yeah, I forced those arms a bit, I may rework this segment once all the other stuff is done!
The bounce is a really cool idea, I too was looking forward to do something like that... I'll keep that in mind for later!
Thanks for the kind suggestions and the very quick reply!
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Re: critiques on my work

Postby Off Topic » Wed Jan 15, 2014 11:27 pm

Goodday!
I'd like to post another loop of this scene I'm working on.
Again, some frames are cleaner than others but that's ok.
What you'll see in this post is a set of 2 loops and half, which means that we have 2 major loops and a third that has just minor differences.
The reason I've done this is because of my attempt to make sex scenes interactive.
I've seen a lot of porn games that use " minigames" to handle bad situations ( like when your avatar gets raped) and if you are fast enough you can free yourself sooner.
My idea is a similar approach but a little bit different, and I'll upload a demo ( featuring these loops) to help you understand as soon as it's ready ( I've spent the last months drawing and now I've forgot what I thought I knew about programming :mrgreen: ), which hopefully will be in the next days if everything proceeds smoothly!
But we will have time to trash-talk about its mechanics, let's just keep ourselves to animation for the moment.
Here are the loops ( I'm sorry Sythis but those freaky arms are back again and so they'll stay for a while... BUT all these frames are somewhat temporary and I may change some of them before the coloring begins, in that case I'll keep in mind your observation).
Once again she's fucking an invisible ghost!
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Re: critiques on my work

Postby Sythis_Sythes » Thu Jan 16, 2014 2:18 am

Nice work, it looks good. Only problem i can see with you making them interactive is that more work will be required to make the game fully finished and released, but if you think you can do it, go for it!

Only strange part this time (besides the a fore-mentioned arms) is the boobs swinging on her way up kinda goes in a weird arc in the last animation to me, like they stretch... Must be a personal preferences though, cause it doesn't look bad at all. Also, i can only judge it by what little we have here, I'm sure when its placed into a scene in the game it'd look a little better since these animations loop into one another. It'd be better to give her nipples through the shirt to show she's got no bra on then, if they can swing that freely....

And sorry if I'm really detailed in my observations of your work, it's just the way i am with my own work, which is why i get stumped so often in what i draw. The arms don't look bad, but i guess it's just I've studied so much of the female body (we all have...) that i can tell if it isn't moving in a 'natural' way to me personally.

But enough of me ranting, what I'm most surprised at is still the level of quality you put into it and still complete the animations in such a short time. May i ask how you learned to draw? Insight into others drawing habits could help me along as well in my endeavor.
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Re: critiques on my work

Postby Off Topic » Fri Jan 17, 2014 11:24 pm

Hey there!
Sorry if it took me a while to reply, I was struggling with lines of code! About the first thing you point out you are right: more time will be required but luckily, once a behaviour is programmed it can be " cloned" with ease and usually takes less time to be set.
I made a couple of evaluations to have a general idea about when all this thing will be finished... I must say you don't really want to know just how far that day will be :D
Now, a prototype ( maybe some kind of Beta) MUST be finished within the first week of May... I really hope so, because if I accomplish that I can exhibit it here: http://www.koalagames.it/koalaweb/pages/svilupparty/ and that would be great! :mrgreen:

You don't have to be sorry if you've got a keen eye, I thank you for being so frank!
The thing you say is true, tits swing almost too much ( almost, because it can never be too much when it comes down to boobies) here, and where are her nipples? Well, I've got a couple of answers for that but this doesn't mean it will make sense:
In the very beginning I intended her shirt to be like a sort of bulletproof vest ( because all this started as a wannabe paradoy of Call of Duty' Safeguard), but then I had a problem: the character was already enough of a tomboy, and I couldn't afford to loose both hair and tits.
So to partially avoid the blunder I went the easyway: that sort of bulletproof vest would have restricted her tits swinging, often but just not everytime ( typically, tits will be free to swing during violent and fast movements).
And about the fact those tits really swings, well... since I'm pretty new to the world of animation I still have to figure out how to measure out strenght in garments ( and limbs, and squishy things and boobs...). It's not easy as it might seems, and I usually prefer to push a little more rather than not :D
I hope this will satisfy you as much as your thoughtfull observations have satisfied me!

About your question, sure you may ask, but look out for letdowns!
Well... to be honest I never " learned" to draw. When I was younger ( I mean a kid, maybe 3-4 years old) I used to draw just for fun and when I had to go to school I did that to avoid boredom. While my writing skills improved ( usually people praise me for what I write rather than for what I draw :lol: ) my drawing ones... uhm... I don't know, they where just " meh". I got so angry about it that when I had to pick a University I decided to attend an art school called IED. WROOONG! To be frank, I hated that. After 1 year and a half I left that thing and I just kept vegetating.
Now, if they accepted me in their classes I suppose I wasn't so bad to begin with... anyway, I learned a couple of tricks from them but no one has ever teached me something, every line I make comes from instinct and practice ( and maybe that's why they are so goofy).
I'm not even dedicated that much: right now I'm drawing a lot because I finally found a project that really turns me on, but usually I draw just a couple of days in a week, or maybe in a month. I think you may call me a bad example :mrgreen:
If you want to ask me more feel free to do it, both here or with a PM it's ok to me!
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Re: critiques on my work

Postby Sythis_Sythes » Fri Jan 17, 2014 11:37 pm

wow, you could be my doppelganger with your drawing life! (minus the college part,lol.) I pretty much did the same thing you did, drew at an early age, then drew for boredom in school (mostly math class, i took the easy ones, but those are way too easy, so there's 30-45 minutes of free time every day right there.) After that I've just been drawing and trying to get a feel for the female human body atm, not really had a go at animating or anything like that. I am planning to buy a wooden doll that will let me draw better proportions though, so hopefully my art gets a lot better.
Weird how i got a lot of compliments about my own art, but i never felt it was good enough.

I'm one of those people that gets a TON of ideas for a game, and then can't implement it because they aren't confident in they're art, or they aren't good at programming at all.

Like so, this is just some random art i played with,lol. Not hijacking the page!, just letting you see that I'm learning just like you, and that i have many flaws in my art that makes me unconfident in it. (Is that a word? lol.) I will say my art is done by just drawing, and on a drawing pad no less, so it's pretty rough. also very bad at drawing hands and feet, and just learning to draw the lower legs from the knee down.
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detailed character test 1 -cleaned - 3rd revision.png
I hadn't noticed till a friend pointed it out, but she looks like a Gothic Zelda from Skyward Sword.
detailed character test 1 -cleaned - 3rd revision.png (4.32 KiB) Viewed 1878 times
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Re: critiques on my work

Postby Off Topic » Sat Jan 18, 2014 12:43 am

Haha she really looks like Zelda! Well I can see we do share many things in common!
I too tend to be very harsh with myself when it comes down to judge my own works, and that's good.
On the other hand, one must know not to reprimand ( hope this word is correct) himself too much, I did it, and all I can say about it is that it's of no use ( to say the least)!
It may sound like a blatancy but one of the most important things in drawing is practice!
If you keep doing stuff, your stuff will inevitably get better, and that's a cool thing.
Have you opened a thread about your drawings? I always like to see how people improves in time! :mrgreen:

P.S.: about the programming issue well... you can learn that too through sheer will and tons of headaches ( it's not as easy as watching a tutorial, but it's easier than, say, learning to speak ancient greek fluently); I'd give it a try if I were you because interactivity is priceless imho ( that's why I temporarily left comics!)
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Re: critiques on my work

Postby Off Topic » Tue Jan 21, 2014 12:18 am

I've managed to build a quick demo yesterday, but I couldn't upload it! I get errors and it's probably because of my own ineptitude... I may try the filesharing way, maybe... in a while... later...
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Re: critiques on my work

Postby Terrantor!!! » Tue Jan 21, 2014 8:02 am

Gots me a few questions. We'll take it one at a time. Firstly, I'm looking to build and animate a character with motion tweens and movie clips. What would be the best angle to draw the character to avoid having to redraw parts multiple times for certain animations.
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Re: critiques on my work

Postby Off Topic » Tue Jan 21, 2014 2:51 pm

Hi Terrantor!!! ( I like all that exclamation marks!)
Uhm... Are you really asking that question to me? 'cause you know, I'm not that competent! :mrgreen:
If you do wanna hear my opinion, then I'd say three quarter view.

Unless you're planning to have a top view ( which works perfectly as a standalone view), it's likely you'll find yourself in need of both front and side view... and by definition 3/4 view is inbetween them.
I really like it, it's better than just the side view because it adds depth and of course you can still have an avatar move in a plausible way ( I think you won't be able to do that with the front view without having an awkward effect).
That said, there are of course times where front or side view are better, but it'd be up to you to decide whether to avoid those situations or not.
You could build an entire game ( sidescrolling like beat'em up, for example) with just that view imho, and you'd be fine! That'd also require you easier ( if none) redrawing steps.

Or you could go with the plain side view, which gets the job done anyway.
Personally, I'd try to gently swap between those two... like, having the character portrayed 3/4 while in idle, and maybe go for side view when walking around... if your design is sufficiently broken down you'd need to redraw nothing, just to rearrange those pieces to fake a 3d thing!
This is something I tried to do with flash 4/5 months ago, it's sloppy I know, but it shows what I mean ( I had to redraw nothing)
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Cvlr_RightWalk_3Step_OnlyKFrames_OK.gif
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Re: critiques on my work

Postby Off Topic » Tue Jan 28, 2014 10:22 pm

Hi dudes! I'm back... and a little bit delayed because of other stuff...
Just a small upload, but took me a lot of effort to put it together, hope you like it... I'm confused about it.
Fact is, I think it's good but this is supposed to be the very climax of this infinite sex scene and I started working on it thinking it would have lasted like... half second or shit.
Instead, it's 2 seconds long... do you think that a climax so slow is good anyway?
Of course this is just one loop, there where supposed to be 3 but probably gonna be just 2, the other one is almost done and lasts less ( as a consequence, the movement is more restrained).
Lemme know :mrgreen:
P.S.: I'm building a site for my works, I'll let you know about it!
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Re: critiques on my work

Postby Sythis_Sythes » Tue Jan 28, 2014 11:14 pm

All i can say is.....interesting reaction to cumming... lmao.
Any chance you could give us some still frames of the notes you've taken? Kinda annoys me it runs so fast i can't read 'em! (Not your fault. and if you want, we could see it only on your blog;might help with traffic from here to there.)
I, personally, would add in both a fast and slow button when finishing the sex scene, like the punch button was fast, kick button was slow, or vice versa. This gives the person playing more choice as to how they'd want to play it, sex vs. game-play (a.k.a. doing the deed vs. trying to get farther in to unlock the deed later. :P)
That could also give you the choice to add in just completing the sex quick in most run and gun h-games, versus seeing it all play out like an actual scene where she stands up after this dripping and such, cause you know people like that. (i certainly wouldn't mind it.) XD
It just depends on which way you wanna go, or if you decide you wanna make the first game simple and go between the choices with less time spent on extras till later, or another game after this one once you've gained experience.

EDIT: not answered my personal preference to this. I really like seeing ahegao reactions in women in h-games, cause then you know they're enjoying it, but i suggested both choices cause there's a good and bad to both. slow means people will get annoyed with the sex and wanna skip it later on in order to progress, making the game tedious; But if the scenes too fast, it could cause people to also get frustrated cause the deed can't be done in that amount of time. (Gotta enjoy it,lol.)
As always, watching you draw... c(0.0)e=>~~~~~~~
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Re: critiques on my work

Postby Off Topic » Wed Jan 29, 2014 12:28 am

Hi Sythis!
I take your point there and I thank you for the interesting feedback!

I thought my notes were irrelevant! I'll share with you, of course, and I like the idea to do so through the site as you suggest when it'll be ready ( an incentive to finish it quickly... but heck I'm such a perfectionist I want it to have cool backgrounds and those take time :lol:).
I didn't know about this ahegao thing, I knew what it was like but never heard its name, now I can address it properly, thanks! Yeah I love these things, both because they show characters enjoying sex and because I really like to draw strange expressions ( a thing I'd like to improve, like Kricfalusi did)! This goes straight to my fetishisms' list.

What you say about the duration makes sense, but I may be guilty because I never explained too well how the game will work and thus lead you to misleading conjectures :mrgreen:...
I'm aware that people have to do their deeds, that is why the first thing I thought to do ( and still have to do) during a sex scene ( whether you started it or an enemy pounce you) was to " stop" the game... like everything else on screen idles for a while.
But I think something better than this can be done, because if you pounce an enemy and another one was coming to you he surely stops, but let's say he stops very nearby, as soon as you're done he will pounce you and this is not so funny ( gameplay wise).
Anyway, the player should and will be able to enjoy the sex scene he started as much as he likes... the only time you'll be forced to watch is when you get pounced ( this is meant to waste some seconds of an hypothetical clock, which stops the game when there's no time left).
But I may got too much ahead of myself there, in fact the " do sex to gain seconds, get pounce or do nothing to loose seconds, game over when time is up" mode ( or d.s.t.g.s.g.p.o.d.n.t.l.s.g.o.w.t.i.u. if you prefer :ugeek: ) is but one of the many different kind of gameplays I'd like to implement.
There may be modes where doing sex is inconvenient because you're in a rush ( just an hypothesis), in that case I like how you suggest to handle the situation!
Right now I don't know which mode I'll develop first and if I'm really going to add the other ones, but I'm sure of which features will be in the game ( maybe not the beta, the utopian finished game will definitely have them)... you'll be able to jump, run, walk, shoot, reload, pick up stuff ( a few powerups), counter attacks and fuck.
Since I like to experiment with gamedesign I'd like to keep those features and see how differently they are used when the goal of the game changes!
But we'll see... thanks again for your comment and forgive the crappy english hither and thither! :mrgreen:
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Re: critiques on my work

Postby Off Topic » Thu Feb 06, 2014 10:20 pm

Hi once more!
I've been lazy in the last days, I think it's because of winter and its shits.
As days go by and months stack up together, my mind loose itself to the flow and all the time I spend on this work I feel as if it is an eternal present... which is cool but it's also a possible prelude to a screw up.
I don't like too much the idea of taking my sweet time in doing this stuff ( which is something I'm already doing a little), that's why I started to work also on the other basic animations needed to make an alpha ( because that sex scene is " bleeding me dry"), hoping to build something very rough soon.

I have small updates to present to you.
Right now I've got the Idle ready... which is meant to stay as it is ( plus 2 minor loops for little variations) and is planned to receive an additional boost of tasty loops only when the prototype will be ready ( the official prototype, not the one I'll be making in the next weeks).
So, about the idle... I'm not gonna comment it because I'd like to see if you can see what I see wrong with it.
What I'd like to say is that I've already planned more substantial variations to this loop, but came to the conclusion it'd be better to skip those and concentrate on indespensable animations ( say, shooting for example).
The ones I've planned are ( you'll have to use your imagination here since I'm too lazy to put together those crappy frames right now): 1 loop in which she removes the helmet ( plays 1 in 10 times, like an easter egg), 1 loop in which she provokes with a backview ( 2 in 10 times maybe), 1 loop in which she looks suspiciously beyond her shoulder ( 4 in 10 times maybe) and 1 loop in which she puffs and drop down ( 3 in 10 times I suppose).
The ones I should make asap are less hefty, basically they are the same as this one except for one in which she blinks and another in wich she moves her fingers to keep those hands alive.

The other stuff I'm posting is about the sex scene: it's the other loop I made for the so-called climax ( which is not the " finale", is just few moments before it, but I called it climax anyway).
'nuff said I think :mrgreen:
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montaggio idle small.gif
montaggio idle small.gif (73.65 KiB) Viewed 1762 times
climax loop1 small.gif
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Re: critiques on my work

Postby Sythis_Sythes » Fri Feb 07, 2014 5:10 am

Gonna make it short since i got a Zelda Wii u today and I'm hoping my copy of wind waker hd downloaded safely, plus there's this creeping headache most likely caused by said winters coming on.
What i, personally, see wrong with the standing loop animation is that her elbows jolt upward, and the gun waves around too much....or that's just the headache telling me to lie down. :)
The sex animation is good, no bad comments to really tell you about it besides the ghost monster appears for a few seconds, which creeps me out since i had a strange ghost like encounter with a door in my house earlier today... but that's my problem, not yours.

oh, and sorry i haven't read the rest of your post, large clump of words left me feeling dizzy, so i guess I'll leave it at that for now and just say i like it. :P
can't wait to see more!
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Re: critiques on my work

Postby Off Topic » Sat Feb 08, 2014 1:12 pm

Hi dude! I totally agree with you on the idle thing!
I saw that only when its animation was done and decided to give it a try nevertheless.
Today I'll try to fix that and add one blink and some minor variations to keep it alive... If this thing proves to merge into the walking cycle properly I think I may as well start cleaning and colouring it!
Catch you later!
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Re: critiques on my work

Postby Off Topic » Wed Feb 12, 2014 12:48 am

I'm back after a while!
This is what kept me busy in the past days ( it proved to take longer than I thought).
I've slightly changed the Idle and reworked the walking cycle.
I'm planning to start coloruing soon, so here's also a couple of similar tests I've done for the colours.
While those are close to what I feel should be her colours, I'd like to give players some degree of freedom to customize them as wished ( I need a colour picker for this... hopefully I'll be able to build or steal one :mrgreen: ).
Opinions are welcome!
P.S.: Let me know what colours you'd like to see, just in case I won't be able to let you pick a chosen colour from 255 RGB and have to force you with a Halo like picker ( hopefully this won't happen).
:D
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SGP-idle test colori 75dpi.jpg
montaggio idle+walk.gif
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Re: critiques on my work

Postby Sythis_Sythes » Wed Feb 12, 2014 2:36 am

Looks great! my personal choice would be a red visor with yellow patch of hair, and maybe less blue for the outfit, like light brown shoes. it's just a personal choice though, and I'm just happy your still making it! i won't be looking at the colors bits for the most part anyways....if you know what i mean :P

I imagined her shoes light brown, her shirt white or grey-ish. Just how i saw it, no need to change it really.

Also, now that you added the animations together, it does look a lot better, nice and smooth. XD

Can't wait to see more!~
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